Reuters reports that researchers have confirmed that happiness is contagious and they have the statistics to prove it.

Getting connected to happy people improves a person’s own happiness, they reported in the British Medical Journal. James Fowler, a political scientist at the University of California, San Diego, said “If a social contact is happy, it increases the likelihood that you are happy by 15 percent, But every extra unhappy friend increases the likelihood that you’ll be unhappy by 7 percent.”.

“Among other benefits, happiness has been shown to have an important effect on reduced mortality, pain reduction, and improved cardiac function.” he said.

So, if you want to be happy and healthy, it helps to have happy friends. To increase your chances of having happy friends, BE a happy friend.

This movie has played at 34 film festivals worldwide and won 17 awards.

There may be a couple of reasons for not completing the project, publishing the article, or whatever. One is procrastination. Another is perfectionism.

Sometimes we procrastinate because of “information overload”. With all of the resources we have available today, with the internet, etc. we could go on forever researching the right answer (or the wrong answer). The trick to this one is knowing that we will NEVER have ALL of the facts. There are diminishing returns for additional research. We must determine when we have enough information to move forward.

Procrastination drains us of energy, because the project remains on our to-do list. Our mind keeps nagging us with ideas for completing it, thus distracting us from what we are doing. There are only 2 alternatives to get this mental energy back. Either we decide we are never going to complete it, and permanently drop it from the list, or we get busy and get it done. As Ed Foreman says, “If you’ve got a frog to swallow, do it first thing in the morning.” The sense of accomplishment we get from completing a goal enhances our self esteem and gives us the energy to tackle the next one.

Another reason a lot of us have for not completing the project is that we want it to be absolutely perfect. Our name is going to be associated with it and we want a spotless reputation. What we need to remember, though, is that no one will get any benefit from the project unless we put it out there.

I remember early in my computer programming career when management chose to release a product with a known bug! I was flabbergasted! How could they publish something that we knew had an issue??? They pointed out to me that the benefits of using our software would by far outweigh the issue in one little part of it. Something software companies learned early on was that it could be fixed in the next release (and yes, there would always be a next release…).

The solution to perfectionism is to remember, as one mentor kept telling me, “Good enough is good enough!”. Aim for perfection, but put it out there when it works well enough. You can always improve it later.

Now, Ready, Aim, and FIRE!

The book is an easy read. (The audio version is even better). Even though the book is an introduction to the Theory of Constraints, it is written as an enjoyable novel about a new manager who has 90 days to turn around a failing manufacturing plant or lose it. You follow him as he and his team, with clues from a mysterious consultant, come to grips with a new way of managing their business. The insights they find are incredible and can be applied to any type of business.

If I were to tell you the bottom lines to the Theory of Constraints, more than likely you would not recognize the huge impact it can have when properly applied. I’ll give you a hint, though. In the process of trying to save his plant, this manager learns that he can make a profit selling some of his products below cost!

If, after you finish The Goal, you want more information about The Theory of Constraints, Goldratt has a new book called Beyond the Goal: Eliyahu Goldratt Speaks on the Theory of Constraints (Your Coach in a Box). This book is a discussion about the application of the Theory of Constraints to businesses, including software companies. (Again, the audio book is better. Eliyahu explains the details himself). But, don’t skip The Goal and go straight to the new book! You will really regret it.

If you’re tired of dry, boring business books, The Goal will be a welcome change.

Thinking I already knew the answer, I asked her how her business was doing. Surprisingly, she said “Great! We almost have more business than we can handle! Our challenge is getting enough good people to do the work.”

When I mentioned that a lot of businesses, especially housing related businesses, are experiencing a recession, she simply said “Not over here!”.

What do you think would happen if she started thinking, “Oh no. The economy is falling apart. And the housing market is the worst. I better pull in the reins, cut costs, not take on so many jobs in this risky environment, and start a hiring freeze.” ? 

Exactly. It would be a self fulfilling prophecy.

So, does that mean we should just stick our head in the sand and ignore what we see? Of course not. But in every situation, there are opportunities for people that look for them.

If some of your customers are buying less from you now, think of ways you can provide more value to help them through difficult times. Not only will your business grow, but you’ll gain some very loyal customers.

Be like the late Sam Walton. When asked for his opinion of the 1991 recession, he said, “I’ve thought about it, and decided not to participate.” Within only two years Wal-Mart’s share price was up 200% !

If you are a huge multi-national bank or investment company, then ok, maybe you’ve got a steep hill to climb. But, if not, then ignore the exaggerations of the media, and just take care of business.

Like Earlene Vining says, “If it is to be, it’s up to me.“

Thoughts lead to Actions which become Habits that create the Character you become.

If you think about your dreams and goals, what happens? You begin to smile. You get a spring in your step. You begin doing the things that will bring about your goal. The thought has become an action.

Any action repeated over and over for about 21 days becomes a habit. The longer you habitually do something, the easier it is to do. Most of what we do every day is done because of our habits. Have you ever left the office thinking you need to stop at the store on the way home and the next thing you know, you’re pulling into the driveway at home? That was because the drive home was a habit. In this way the action has become a habit.

All of your habits make up your Character. For example, if you have the habit of getting up early to work out, you will be healthier. If you have the habit of thinking positively, when something doesn’t go your way, you will put all of your efforts into finding another solution. You will be known as that kind of person. All of this together is your character, and it makes up the quality of your life.

Thus, what started as a thought has manifested itself in your life.

So, what are you thinking? What do you read when you don’t have to read? What do you listen to on the radio? What TV shows do you watch? Choose your thoughts carefully. They are what you become.

Go on, it’s okay. Admit it! We all know that life would be a whole lot easier if we didn’t have to deal with those few (or many) difficult people we just can’t seem to avoid. I think you know who I’m talking about.

What’s not okay is to give up something you need, want, or deserve because of their rude, obnoxious, sullen, and apathetic habits. Yes, I do mean “habits.” If you’re tired of playing their game, take charge of your life by taking a good look at yourself! You can not change them, but you can change what you do and how you act around them—and ultimately how they affect your life.

The Good News… and the Bad

Difficult people have been trained and taught to act the way they do since they were children. In fact, they have been rewarded for their negative behavior throughout their entire lives. Difficult behavior worked for them as children, and more importantly, it continues to work for them as adults.

I believe that most of us are born with the capacity and desire to love and be loved. As we grow, we learn to respond to verbal and visual cues, and we begin to adjust our behavior to obtain the positive responses we want. Children who can manipulate their parents soon learn to enjoy feelings of power and control over others.

The game of life is basically about getting our needs met. And you certainly do play a part! We reward difficult people by giving in to their needs. Think about it. If someone’s behavior is consistently inappropriate or unacceptable toward you, ask yourself if in any way you are rewarding their negative behavior.

For example, Helen gets upset every time Harry mentions that he wants to play golf. Rather than face a two-hour lecture, Harry usually finds it easier to just stay home. One day, however, he gets angry and accuses her of being a nag who never understands him. Instead of answering back, Helen gets her feelings hurt, stomps off, and gives Harry the silent treatment. He takes advantage of her “cold shoulder” and plays a few holes of golf!

Jennifer wins the same “reward” at her new school. Few of the kids would talk to her and some were even making fun of her. She asked to stay in during recess, but the teacher said no. Eventually she gets into a fight and pushes another girl down. The teacher tells Jennifer that fighting is against the rules and she will have to stay inside. What did Jennifer learn? Ask the teacher respectfully and you will not get what you want. Push someone and you can avoid recess!

We have three choices each time we respond to another person: 1.) be positive; 2.) be negative; and 3.) avoid or ignore them. Difficult people see avoidance as a positive response. When we ignore unacceptable, inappropriate behavior, it will usually happen again because our avoidance tells the difficult person that we are willing to accept their behavior.

What do they really want?

Difficult people want to do their own thing, in their own time, in their own way, without interference. In addition, they expect everyone around them to cooperate - even work extra hard - to ensure that this happens. And they do not see anything unreasonable about these expectations. There is little in their experience to signal them that their actions are inappropriate. They also have little (if any) desire or motivation to change their habits.

What can I do about it?

We learn a lot from difficult people. We tolerate their behavior and attitudes as “part of life.” We hold back our feelings and swallow our words. We make concessions even when we do not receive anything in return. We compromise even when it is 90/10 instead of 50/50. We may even question our own ability to relate and communicate with others reasoning that, “Maybe it’s me.”

Since we cannot change difficult people, we can only change ourselves and our reactions to their behavior. They need our cooperation and our permission to intimidate, control and repeatedly manipulate us to get their way. In most relationships, we are treated exactly the way we allow ourselves to be treated. The good news is that because we are partly responsible, there is something we can do to create and maintain relationships where we are treated respectfully. That’s great news! By focusing on ourselves and the changes we can make in our own behaviors and reactions, we can begin to take control of how other people treat us - today!

Take Action!

Think about two difficult people in your life.

Identify the behaviors of these difficult people.

Ask yourself if you could possibly be rewarding these difficult people.

Would they describe you as the difficult person? If so, what would they say?

Note: This article comes from a spectacular and informative 2-part presentation by Connie Podesta called “Life Would Be Easy If It Weren’t For Other People”.
 
The Success Store is running a Connie Podesta Special Offer which includes this and her other recordings at ridiculously low prices. You can get yours by clicking here ».
 
You can see a sample video of Connie Podesta here »

Connie Podesta, MS, LPC, CSP, is the Director of the Interpersonal Skills Department of Building the Power Practice. She was an educator for 15 years at all levels from junior high to major universities. She has served as Director of Employee Assistance Program (EAP) and Director of Staff Relations at a large community hospital. Ms. Podesta conducts workshops and training seminars for health care organizations and is a popular speaker at major dental seminars throughout the country. For more information or to schedule a speaking engagement, call 972-596-5501.

Reprinted with permission from www.conniepodesta.com.

Recently, I was reading a book by one of my favorite authors. I’m not going to tell you who for reasons that will become apparent.

He is right on point with most things, but I think he is way off on this one. He was pooh-poohing the “new age idea” that an employer should care about the happiness of his employees. He said that was not an employer’s job. A boss’s only concern should be how much they can get employees to produce. Who cares if they’re happy?

I would like to go on record as saying that is pure BS (capital B, capital S)!

When it comes to personal matters, I agree that it is none of the boss’s business. But, concern for employees’ success & happiness will do more for your business than anything else you can do. Who talks to your customers? Who controls the quality of your products? What kind of message are your employees sending out?

If you are an employer, and you if want the greatest success, it is in your own best interest to create an environment where every employee can be successful. Give them the opportunity to learn skills they didn’t have before. Some ask, “What if I train them and they leave?” Well, what if you don’t train them and they stay?

Case in point: A few years ago, my employer sent me to Ed Foreman’s Successful Life Course. The course teaches a lot of skills useful in business, but the main focus is on each student’s personal happiness and success. Recognizing that fact was the turning point for me. I had been so against going to a “rah-rah company” event, that if there had been a way to get out of it, and keep my job, I would not have gone. Somewhere into the first day, though, they said something (I don’t remember what it was), but it finally struck me. That class would help me personally. It wasn’t just about the job. It was about ME. From that point on, I was hooked…on the class, on the boss that sent me, on my job, and on being successful.

My story is not unique by any means. I think that most first time SLC attendees are sent by their company (or by a previous graduate). And it is obviously paying off because, if these companies were not seeing results on the bottom line, they just would not keep sending people.

It’s an easy question. Do you do your job better when you’re happy? Do you get along better with customers and co-workers when you’re happy? Of course you do.

Or turn the situation around. If you work for someone who lets you know, in no uncertain terms, that the only thing they care about is how much money you can make for them, how loyal are you? Would you go the “extra mile” for that kind of boss? Or would you do the minimum to get by, and jump ship at the first opportunity?

Exactly.

You might get some temporary success pushing people for more…more hours, more days, more work. But it won’t last. When companies get known as being “sweat shops”, the really good employees, the ones you really want on your team, won’t even apply.

As Zig Ziglar put it, “You can get everything you want in life, if you’ll help enough other people get what they want.”

How many times have you received a voicemail message like that one? It communicates no information other than Frank called. Usually the next step is for you to return the call, only to find that Frank is now “on the phone or away from his desk”. So, you leave a message to let Frank know you called him and now it’s his turn. It’s a popular game called “phone tag”. “Popular” may be the wrong term here, as no one really likes it.

Consider, instead, a “virtual conversation”, or a “time-shifted phone call”. It goes like this:

“Hey, John. It’s Frank. I am making travel arrangements and I need to find out what time the Orlando meeting is expected to start.”

Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. We know what Frank wants and we can easily respond to it. Even if Frank is not there when we return his call, we can simply leave the information in HIS voicemail. Both of us deal with the phone call on our own schedule and there is no wasted time.

How’s that for GTD?

This is the title and subject of presentations given by a speaker I really enjoy, Connie Podesta. In these hilarious presentations (part 1 and part 2), Connie describes the various ways we go about getting our needs met (assertive, aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive), the effects of each way, and how we can best interact with others to get what we need. I cannot convey to you just how enjoyable, educational, and deeply touching it is to see or hear Connie.

I have been a huge fan of Connie Podesta ever since I saw her perform “Journey” live at a success seminar in Dallas. “Journey” is usually described as a “one-woman comedy/drama”, but that phrase comes nowhere near describing the depth of her presentation. She brilliantly demonstrates the feelings of growing up from a 4 year old, through a teenager, to being a mother and wife. It is very funny, engaging, and at the same time, presents several life lessons. After seeing it, I immediately bought the VHS tape. Everyone I showed it to enjoyed it immensely (and that includes my own teenager, who wanted to watch it again!). It doesn’t matter whether you are young or old. In fact, it’s more fun if you and your children watch it together. You’ll both get fun insights into the other.

In addition to the above, Connie recorded two other presentations that I just ordered for myself:

• How To Be The Person Successful Companies Fight To Keep
• Making Choices That Count - The Secret of Self Esteem

Connie Podesta is a public speaker with the ability to connect with students and adults from all backgrounds. And her credentials are impressive. Connie is a Board Certified Professional Counselor, and she has a master’s degree in human relations and counseling. She is an organizational therapist, and an expert in the psychology of human behavior.

You can see a video sample from Connie Podesta.

I am telling you all of this now because I just found out that, for a limited time, The Success Store is running a Connie Podesta Special Offer which includes all of her recordings for ridiculously low prices. I ordered my copies. You can get yours by clicking here. I promise you won’t be disappointed.